trash-2011 – Port of Spain Hash House Harriers (POSH3)

Trash Run #796

MIS-MANAGEMENT COMMITTEE
HASH MASTER	Mumtaz Amarali	625-3617 x29436	mumtaz98@hotmail.com
HASH ASSISTANT	Pradeep Subrian	678-2372	psubrian@bluewaterstt.com
COMMUNICATIONS MINISTER	Zameer Ali	678-9172	u4ria532@hotmail.com
FINANCE MINISTER	Lorin Paton	622-5806 (O)
HARELINE	Salma Khan	753-8843	salmakhan_10@hotmail.com
SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT MINISTER Arthur Seebalack 461-5665	HEALTH MINISTER Tiza Matura 683-4848	SPORT & YOUTH DEVELOPMENT MINISTER Martin Griffith 681-9552	WORKS & TRANSPORT MINISTER Ashe Holder
ARTS & CULTURE MINISTER Janine Winston	FOREIGN AFFAIRS MINISTER Colin Sorias	INDEPENDENT SENATOR Betty Agostini	INDEPENDENT SENATOR Diane Henderson
Website Address: http://poshhh.org

RUN DETAILS
RUN#	DATE	HARES	SITE	SCRIBE
796	Dec 10, 2011	Martin & Diane	Stumblin’ Bar	The North Coast Posse

Ah ent no writah ah tell ’em, but thay harassing meh fer weeks now, even callin’ meh "Ghostwriter". They waaah meh to write ah trash an’ the only ting I feel like writin’ is trash, about all a yuh!!

Christmas Party time, all of us ol’ boys and girls jus happy that afternoon…Christmas cheer in the air an’ ting! The ideah that we would get a nice ‘runner’s glow’ to go with as much booze that we could drink, and even a little more time and something an’ someone to wine on, (around Mahatma’s pool with a view, pappa- , and man, me and my Hashing buddies could barely contain weeselves. We don’t get that often! Once ah year ent…an’ we eh playin’! We guh wine on everything tonite!

So, thay axs us to stumble in deh Stumblin’ Bar on Aripiata Avenue aftah another nite ah limin’ with deee Hash Crew…two nites in a row. Some of the slouches stayed on limin’ (instead of running), up an down them little streets ah Woodbrook, St. Clair and Port of Spain (as planned by Diane and Martin). In fact, many ah us real jealous ah them fuh havin’ real nerve. They show up for dee hash and instead, decide tuh stay at dee bar to imbibe and watch football! What ah dreamy afternoon…fuhr them! As far as dee rest of us concerned, thay just gettin’ the annual Christmas Party started ah little early eh…and why not??? Thay smart! The rest ah us fools wuh just weavin’ our way up and down the same streets over and over, up to dee Savannah and back away, and up again, and back away, with a lot a confusion about whether or not "we On On" or in fact, it just "ah bit ah ol’ flour from last Monday run!"

I waz tireeeeed already, before we start!!! I sick, and my belly hurtin’ me too bad! I had to drag my arse up off meh stool in Stumbilin’ and stumble out; an’ ah pretend to do it with enthusiasm, because, yuh know, I was going to get real excited this evening. Ah, a little break (hehehehe), it pourin’! Maybe too much to go fuh a run! Yuh would think, but nah man! That Sheldon only countin’ down and sayin’, "rain or shine, we going in six minutes". During all dee twists and turns up this and thah street, all I looking for is a short cut that would get meh back tuh Stumblin’, but wouldn’t get me wearing that cold, nasty Pooftah t-shirt two times in ah row!

Boy, aftah one hour an’ a half of runnin’ (well, ah really walkin’ fass) in the hot sun, in blistering hot Port of Spain, I dyin’ an’ I int the only one, eh! Ah whole bunch ah them peepin’ down dee streets, an’ Mr. Mahatma teachin’ all the little wusses like me (an’ Toni too), where they go end up..little short cuts nah! Eh notting! Aftah all, is he lass run as Mathatma! I following he; he good at that! He ent using any more energy than he hah teh!!!

An’ Betty, she really getting on meh nerves dee whole time looking like a racin’ horse who jess get out ah the stables, fresh an’ ready to go fuh another 2 hours…prancin’ up and down with ah big smile on she face! Good fuh she!!! Not me, I dreamin’ ah all them beers I gonna drink when ah get back stumblin’ to Stumblin’!!! But I ben the cornah and I see that damn truck again with bloody Dune smilin’… all I wanna do is punch he in his bloody mouth to knock that grin off he face, but luckily this time, he had only beers in dee back dis time. Yeh man!!!

I bend the corner again…the home stretch, Taz behind me plottin’ how she go look in huh new Iron Lady get up for the next year an’ me dreading more torturin’. Then, low an’ behold, dee truck drive by again and who I spot hiding like a real Pooftah in dee back ah dee truck…Shauwna!!! Hehehehehehe!!! Is she, she gonna wear that nasty t-shirt an’ I think Dune and he partnah should wear it too.

Ah gone! I done! It was a nice run afterallJ….I lyin’!

The Handover

It was two weekends before Christmas and all was in place

Everyone waited with baited breath for Taz to take Arthur’s place

So to Arthur’s place we all made our way to witness the evening’s affair

Hash Christmas party, of course everyone wanted to be there

Alas for some it was not to be as room was limited for the affair

So dinner was catered by Richard to some of the committee’s dismay

But he passed the test with flying colours so the committee had no more to say

Then came time for Santa who arrived with much fanfare

He made his way to his pride of place but we never saw his reindeer

So from his list he called out names to come sit with him

And so it was he called out names amid the party din

Gerrard he called and gave to him an id for Gerry Soogrim

Sheldon got a dog collar for his exploits in Tobago of female tracking

Next was Curtis who for his broken heart got a rag to wipe his tears

Then came Shawna who got a man to satisfy her needs with care

Randall was next and to make up for height he was presented with a ladder

Then surprise surprise up came a lovely lady who was his outside daughter

Eric was absent but Santa declared he got him a tin of Slim Fast

Ashe was next his present was not found so the helpers told him to pass

Betty came forward received her present and everyone asked what is that

She unwrapped the present to reveal for her chest she got Fix a Flat

Reed came forward and was not pleased it was not rum, it was beer

Santa then told him if you want to be a hasher you have to drink beer

Marlay came forward with much apprehension wondering what could it be

And so he unwrapped his gift from Santa ,a list Catering staff Employment Agencies

Next came Corkie Lorin and Hanif all three recovering from injury

To them was presented a million dollar CLICO policy

And so it was there were no more presents so Santa’s exit would be a cinch

So right there before our very eyes Santa turned into the Grinch

Soon after as we stood and gazed the Grinch waved his magic wand

And so it was that Arthur appeared with the Parrot in Hand

Next came the Iron Lady who made a grand entrance

Preceded by winged ladies who put on a mini dance

Then on she came dressed in red and all her finery

Men tried to touch but were kept back by her ugly mean security

Arthur looked on very much like General Custer in his last stand

But before he could think or even blink Taz had the parrot in her hand

So parrot in left hand and mike in the other she made her maiden speech

Never forgetting to remind us that she is the Iron Lady who looks phenomenal on the beach

She then announced her cabinet which had new ministries among them

Someone said UNC much of the old guard like she P oN theM

She presented Mahashma with his plaque and a deya and we did not know what it meant

But in her presentation to him she explained that the deya was for enlightenment

And so the party started hashers all having a good time, a really good place to be

And then very much to our surprise on came Myron B

His hits he performed for us song after song after song

Hashers needed very little encouragement as they sang along

And so it was the night was winding down to an end

Some hashers made their way home and others got cozy with a friend

Another Hash Christmas party is now a memory

So we turn our thoughts to 2012 wondering

what kind of year will it be

DIRECTIONS TO THE NEXT RUN #798

Date: January 07, 2012
Time: 3:30 p.m
Hares: The Big Dicks
RunSite: Matura
Directions: Head east on CRH till you reach the end of the dual carriageway in Wallerfield. Head north towards EMR. At intersection of EMR turn east (right) towards Valencia. Drive along EMR passing gas station then police station on the right till you reach the Y junction in Valencia by traffic lights. Turn left heading to Toco and drive approx. 15km till you reach a T junction. Turn left heading north following signs till you reach the village of Matura. Look for sign on the right directing to Matura Bay Sea Turtle Nesting Site. Follow this road for approx 4km to run site which is on the beach. Travel time from POS 1.5hrs.

2012 RECEDING HARELINE

Trash Run #797

MIS-MANAGEMENT COMMITTEE
HASH MASTER	Mumtaz Amarali	625-3617 x29436	mumtaz98@hotmail.com
HASH ASSISTANT	Pradeep Subrian	678-2372	psubrian@bluewaterstt.com
COMMUNICATIONS MINISTER	Zameer Ali	678-9172	u4ria532@hotmail.com
FINANCE MINISTER	Lorin Paton	622-5806 (O)
HARELINE	Salma Khan	753-8843	salmakhan_10@hotmail.com
SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT MINISTER Arthur Seebalack 461-5665	HEALTH MINISTER Tiza Matura 683-4848	SPORT & YOUTH DEVELOPMENT MINISTER Martin Griffith 681-9552	WORKS & TRANSPORT MINISTER Ashe Holder
ARTS & CULTURE MINISTER Janine Winston	FOREIGN AFFAIRS MINISTER Colin Sorias	INDEPENDENT SENATOR Betty Agostini	INDEPENDENT SENATOR Diane Henderson
Website Address: http://poshhh.org

RUN DETAILS
RUN#	DATE	HARES	SITE	SCRIBE
797	Dec 24, 2011	Three Wise Men & Taz	Lady Chancellor Hill	Pinkee

Twas the afternoon before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse! You see instead, on Chancellor Hill that said afternoon, cars with Hash feet would be spotted winding their way up to the day’s run site.

Having not been to our host’s home before, I was pleasantly enthralled by the wonderful vista of the city down below and the festive Parang music blaring from the speaker boxes of the now regular fixture, Deejay Nigel.

Under white tents, serving trays lined with hops, ham, pasta salad, turkey etc were a tempting sight for later and rumors were confirmed that the spread was "free" as Yuh Mammy walked past musing aloud "like de Hash have money boy". Hashers slowly but surely filtered in, most decked in festive red and even a few wannabe Dashers and Prancers could be seen milling around with their reindeer bandeaus. Seasons greetings, hugs and kisses were being dished out in abundance and one could easily have been forgiven for mistaking the occasion as a Hash social event and not a run until the Iron Lady called for the Hash Hush and the three hares Wise men (in full costume mind you. These men really taking cross-dressing to new heights!) came forward to brief us on what was to be expected on the run.

Having been recently spared the dubious award of Worst MMM Run 2011, you would think that the Wise Man from the North Ash would have given up setting runs for a while but no…instead he proceeded to rant about there being no hills (yeah right), no mud and to be careful when going through the river and use the life jackets provided??? Go figure!

On On was called and we set off into a nice brisk walk up the hill. No one seemed in any particular rush to do any running and I’m not sure if this was due to the ill effects of the Holiday Season or in anticipation of a Ball Buster run which two of these particular hares are known for setting. "Long and Hard" seems to be their modus operandi as if they are trying to work out some sort of personal shortcoming on the Hash..Quality not quantity boys!

Anyway….eventually the front pack started running up the hill to a nicely placed "X" – Duh, and after much mulling around and to-ing and fro-ing the correct trail was found off an old off beaten path by Dookie no less, leading the pack down to the back of the Zoo and then eventually veering us off to the back entrance of the Gardens. Having reached another standstill and again in no particular fancy to "dash off", Devaughn was sent up to check a trail up a very steep hill. Poor fellah, he really took the chain-up well from Martin and I as we encouraged him with "Yuh form lookin’ good boy" and "this is yuh last chance to be at the front of de Hash" needless to say he found an "X"..Oh well.

The correct trail was found leading the pack into Cascade, up to Terra Cita with the "On In" at the crest of the hill leading back to the run site down Chancellor.

Great after-party, entertainment was provided by Los Hombres Sexuales an all-male Parang band out of Diego Martin of good looking young men, which for those of you not familiar with the language means "Impotent Men" – what…you think I’m making this up? Check it out! Ladies don’t get your hopes up J

Hash Hush was called and during the down downs we had our first Hash demonstration. Apparently some of the Old farts had taken issue with the dismissal of Yuh Mammy as Hash Booze and decided to protest at the Iron Lady’s first official Down Down.

Two-sided placards reading "No Boos no Booze" were paraded around and a well meant but out of tune version of "We shall Overcome" was sang throughout the crowd while Nevie wandered throughout the throng in a shredded T-shirt like a displaced vagrant. But the Iron Lady would have none of this! She continued with the procession of the Down Downs blatantly ignoring the protestors and instructed Deejay Nigel to play "I’ve Got the Power" just in case they didn’t get the hint. At the end of it all the protestors said they were all just having "a bit of fun". Guess everybody’s idea of fun is different right?

Poofter award went to Corkie for some nonsense but it really should have gone to barman Andre who arrived late to the Hash because he didn’t have proper directions??? Priceless!

Good time was had by all. Happy New Year and see you in 2012! ON ON!!!

Thank God we survived 2011…..Today is a new day, it’s a new year, let us reflect on our triumphs and mishaps, our promises made and broken…we have been given another chance to forgive….

another opportunity to be better…to do more….to give more…..to love….

Stop worrying about what if….start embracing all that will be…let’s start being nice to each other…

not just today but everyday. On On

UPCOMING HASH EVENTS:

February 4, 2012 (28th Anniversary Run/Awards/Party)

Date to be advised (Ole Mas Run)

February 18, 2012 (Carnival Saturday) Hash Kaiso Competition and Party

March 30-April 1, 2012 (Mayaro weekend) (we camping on d beach)

DIRECTIONS TO THE NEXT RUN #799

Date: December 21, 2012
Time: 3:30 p.m
Hares: The North Coast Posse
RunSite: Brasso Seco
Directions: Head east on CRH till you reach Santa Rosa Heights residential area (immediately before Wallerfield). Continue to the roadside pillars just after that mark the beginning of Wallerfield, and turn left onto Demerara Road . Head north towards EMR. At intersection of EMR and Demerara Rd. , cross and continue North to the Arima-Blanchisseuse Rd. , going past Asa Wright Nature Centre and on to the Brasso Seco turn-off on the right. Look for HHH signs. Approximate distance from Eastern Main Rd. intersection to Brasso Seco is 16 miles. Travel time from POS : approximately 1hr. 45 mins.

2012 RECEDING HARELINE

Trash Run #794

Hash Trash Run 794

MIS-MANAGEMENT COMMITTEE
HASH MASTER	Arthur Seebalack	461-5665	arturo999@live.com
HASH ASS	Mumtaz Amarali	625-3617 x29436	mumtaz98@hotmail.com
ON-SEC/ HARELINE	Salma Khan	753-8843	salmakhan_10@hotmail.com
HASH C$SH	Lorin Paton	622-5806 (O)
HASH BOOZE	Nevie Boos	637-3033 (H)
HASH SOFTIES	Richard Marlay	351-3694
COMMITTEE	Betty Agostini, Ronald Mc Donald, Diane Henderson, Asha Saith
Website Address: http://poshhh.org

RUN DETAILS
RUN#	DATE	HARES	SITE	SCRIBE
794	Nov 26, 2011	Central Posse	Claxton Bay	Anonymous

While making my way through muddy slippery terrain of Claxton Bay I heard Mahashma mention something to me. I didn’t quite make out what he said as in that instant I lost my footing and yelled out “OH SHIT”. Not knowing what he said would be of great importance, but we’ll get back to that later. So as I lost my footing and began to slide down this ridiculous hill I asked myself how the hell did I get here.

During the week I sold my friend on how great the Hash was and to come try it out. Not knowing Trinidad too well I decided that I would do the Hash with my in-laws. Unfortunately, my friend was running late and because of something that happened on the last Hash my in-laws refused to be late. I must say the directions were very clear (granted it was south on the hwy get off on the exit are a right and your there). Thou my in-laws didn’t want to wait we still made it on time. Parking was great and what was even better I noticed a bar and roti shop right there! As the Hash began I wondered in my head what kind of roti did I feel for? It was a tossup between shrimp and chicken. I figured as the day went on I would surely decided. We began walking through bounds of pebbles and then MUD. MUD MUD and …. more MUD!!! the run took us through the Forrest with mud. Down a steep hill with mud. Through tall bush with mud. Through a village with mud. On the highway. Yes the HIGHWAY!! Isn’t it illegal to walk on the side of the highway? The Solomon Hochoy Highway FYI. back up some hills with mud. Down some hills with mud. Up again with mud and a beautiful view I must say. Before the run began we were told that there would be a drink stop in the middle of the run. After we passed through the village I wondered to myself where else could they have a stop. But that we’ll get to later. After help/carrying somewhat I hope and assume we’re walkers through some slippery parts of the run I had a moment of concern. Running through the bush and mud a gentlemen appeared out the bush with a cutlass. In a state of shock I simply smiled nodded and continued to run. He looked at me as if I was somewhat crazy. At that point I said to myself “I think I’ll have the shrimp”.

This brings us to the point where Mahashma is telling me something and I’m sliding down this ridiculous hill. Luckily I have a great sense of balance and my slide was short lived, that and the guy who grabbed me. Thanks by the way!

Towards the end of the run right before the road I ran through what can only be described as…mudshitoilsludge. At that point I said to myself “maybe the chicken”. When I got on the road I saw the drink stop. I immediately stopped and said to myself ” defiantly the shrimp! And are we only half way!!!” I looked around at my surroundings, used my internal gps and gathered that I had to be close to the on in. I approached the drink truck took a bottle of water and continued. The girl said to continue on the road and you’ll be done. Instill wondered what the hell happen to half way? But again that we’ll get to later. I must say a special thanks to the gentleman who lived right before the roti shop. He graciously let a group of us use his hose and wash ourselves off. He also gave a history lesson of the area to soot. As I came to the ON IN I immediately made a b line to the roti shop. I left my friend behind on the run (probably stuck in the mud) so I decided the honorable thing to do would be to wait on him and buy him a roti. About a half an hour passed and no sight of my friend I started to worry because an announcement was made about the food and the line was getting long! Eventually he strolled in. I immediately told him lets go for food. Standing in the line anxious to order a guy walks in and yells “lemme get two chicken with pepper” a gentlemen says to the guy “there’s a line” and the genius lady behind the counter says “no there’s no line just order”. Really lady are you serious?? So of course all hell broke loose and orders were flying from everywhere. I eventually made my way to the front and ordered. The lady behind the counter asked “shrimp, chicken or goat”? I said you have goat?? I ordered 5 chicken and 1 goat. She came back soon after and said sorry goat done. No problem I’ll take a shrimp. After receiving my 5 chicken and distributing to relevant persons. She then came to me and said ” sorry roti done”. Thanks a lot Anny’s Roti Shop. You suck!

Mahashma did the virgins down down. Then came poofter time came. There were some good nominations. We all discovered the mystery of the drink truck not being at the middle of the run. It seems the Hayer could not find the location. (On his own run??) instead of honorably stepping forward and assuming responsibility he blantly declined! And refused to step up. I am relatively new to the Hash so I am not sure what if any disciplinary actions are taken to this blatant dis regard.

All in all it was a good hash. We had some mud, bush, traffic, hills and a beautiful view. It took about an hour and forty-five minutes. Kudos to the….. On a job well done.

The down downs were officiated by the Hash Ass who had trouble in controlling the rowdy mob. It is hard to control a drunken mob.

Oh! So during the week when I saw Mahashma I asked “what was it you mentioned to me”? He said “I asked you to write the Hash Trash and you yelled out” “OH SURE”. Hmm so what do I write?

Mahashma's Meditations

The moving finger writes

I knew this year would pass quickly as Hash Master, but I had no idea how fast it would seem in my mind. Looking back on all the hashes for the past year starting with the Christmas run at my home they seem to morph into one giant continuous hash , punctuated by the Calypso show , overseas and Tobago hashes.
Being the H.M. is a thankless job, but I am certainly glad that I did it. The Hash has been good for me over the years and I have done my part in return.

I could not have gotten the through year as easily as I did , without the help of my Hash Ass and hard working Committee. Thank you one and all.

One of the perks of the job I will miss is the privileged parking spot. No matter what time I arrived there was my spot next to the beer van. Now I am back to being a mere mortal.

At this point I will announce the Hash of the year, for all round things like parking, the run, the after lime etc. etc. etc. And the winner is the Kernahan Village run. Such a great lime was had at the Palm Village Bar. The bar man simply passed a whole bottle of Jack Daniels to me and David Wong and said pour your drink gentlemen. That did not happen anywhere else in T and T.

Central Posse won the contest for the stinkiest mud of the year. However they made up for the after lime with Tassa, Tent and D.J. Well done group for your first run.

As for my search for enlightenment goes no one apart from the likes of The Buddha can really achieve this. In Tobago I realized at the Halloween party that “Woman good Man bad” was part of it. Being a Hasher is also being enlightened. But the moving finger will leave you with a verse which should be read and reread.
Oh by the way, I also followed the advice of Big Mike Mcgee who said to enjoy your year, and of the brother I should have had Haniff who said F–K it, it’s only Hash!
So that’s it folks and welcome to Taz whose hash name is now “The Iron Lady” from now on.

The Moving Writes and having writ,
Moves on, nor all the piety nor wit,
Shall lure it back to cancel half a line,
Nor all thy tears to wash out a word of it.
ON ON.

Oh almost forgot to welcome the Virgins: Candace, Chevonne, Sacha, Lester, Vojtech, Eamonn, Stephanie and Ryan; and then birthday wishes went out to Marita. We must not forget our classic i.e. Poofter award was bestowed upon Robin Bassant who disregarded the honourable HM wishes to write the trash. BEWARE YUH GOTTA WRITE THE TRASH WHEN ASKED.

Hash Lingo

Virgins take note of the meaning of these signs!!!

While on the trail CALL “ON ON” when you see bits of shredded paper/flour! It helps those behind/possibly lost hashers.
“O” – check for the correct trail!
“X” – you’re on the wrong trail! Go back to the check point and start again.
“ON PASS” – to pass someone on the trail.
“ON BACK” – on the wrong trail, you may have reached an “X“….turn back to the check point “O“.
“On OFF” – you’re off the correct trail.
When you are almost in you would see: “ON IN” pointing to the correct direction.
For those who can’t keep up with the ‘3F’s’ (FIT, FAST AND FURIOUS) pack then just go with the ‘3S’s’ (SMART, SLOW AND SAFE) Pack who just let them do all the work.

DIRECTIONS TO THE NEXT RUN #796

Date: December 24, 2011
Time: 3:30 p.m
Hares: Taz/ Ash
RunSite: Lady Chancellor Hill
Directions: Head to Queen’s Park Savannah and drive up the Lady Chancellor Hill. Follow the hash signs to the run site.

2011 RECEDING HARELINE

2012 RECEDING HARELINE

Trash Run 793

Hash Trash Run 793

MIS-MANAGEMENT COMMITTEE
HASH MASTER	Arthur Seebalack	461-5665	arturo999@live.com
HASH ASS	Mumtaz Amarali	625-3617 x29436	mumtaz98@hotmail.com
ON-SEC/ HARELINE	Salma Khan	753-8843	salmakhan_10@hotmail.com
HASH C$SH	Lorin Paton	622-5806 (O)
HASH BOOZE	Nevie Boos	637-3033 (H)
HASH SOFTIES	Richard Marlay	351-3694
COMMITTEE	Betty Agostini, Ronald Mc Donald, Diane Henderson, Asha Saith
Website Address: http://poshhh.org

RUN DETAILS
RUN#	DATE	HARES	SITE	SCRIBE
793	Nov 12, 2011	The Runaway Crew & Harold	Mermaid Pools, Matura	Robin Basant’s Ghost Writer

I got a call from the On-Sec saying Robin did not know he was supposed to write the trash. That kind of funny because I was right alongside Mahashma when he asked Robin to write the trash, and Robin smiled knodded and said yes. But there again the smile was kind of blank. So I am filling in and I propose Robin for Poofter.

This hash had the signature marks of Harold Lee. Thank God he was not combined with Mahashma. The run started late because of the late arrival of the Hash Master and his family. Harold started to talk about stage and I and II etc. This alone should have warned me to stay at the bar. There were many hares and Harold was the only experienced one. Yes I did say experienced, but in what.He is experienced on setting torture hashes, and this turned out to be no different.

Now all those virgin hares have got it into their heads that this is how to set a run.

The run itself can be described in a few words, mud, uphill, downhill, uphill, uphill, uphill, downhill, river, up, up, uphill, mud, darkness, long about 2 hrs. I think that sums it up.

Some intelligent hashers decided to quit after stage I, the less intelligent after stage II, and the morons like me did the whole thing.

When I got back it was very dark, but Seebalack’ s family rum shop was in full swing. His daughter-in-law needs to be taught how to pour a good size rum. I heard they have another rum shop in Chaguanas somewhere.

The down downs were officiated by the Hash Ass who had trouble in controlling the rowdy mob. It is hard to control a drunken mob.

But still the spirit of the hash lives on, the pain of the hash is soon forgotten and a good time was had by all.

I do suggest for the benefit of all that Harold and Arthur be banned for setting future runs.

RUN DETAILS
	DATE	HARES	SITE	SCRIBE
Alternate Run	Oct 29, 2011	David/Hadyn/Village Hare/MVP Brendan	Darin’s Bar, Majuba Cross Road, Diego Martin	The Unknown

HASHERS

Chris
Dane
Jerry
Wahid
Marlon
Richard (even tho he left and returned)
Naveen
Michele
Devon
Nada
Trevor

Making a mad dash from my PJ which ended @ 2 in Couva, my average speed was 130km/hr, with an ETA of 20mins to Grand Bazaar where I met up with Dane to carpool to the alt run hash. Traffic Saturday (as he branded it) created several moments of uncertainty in getting to the hash ‘on time’. We eventually gave up, changed our minds and headed On Back before we even made it to On On. Then we decided to make the trip to the run site (Darin’s Bar) after all….even if just for the After Lime and Down Downs. Surprisingly, after some skillful negotiation around the ‘traffic epidemic’ we arrived and notice just about 6 hashers outside the bar. We conquered the poor parking and eventually found a safe spot on a side street (littered with shredded white paper). Hmmmm!!

On arriving @ the bar we realized two things. 1. The hash did not yet start @ 3:45. 2. We could count all hashers present on two hands. We started off on time (trini time that is) as the hares waited on at least 12 hashers to arrive! ALL 12, yes I said 12! and one extra (Richard who came later than late) and we were On On @ 4pm. The hash started as typically as you could imagine with a nice fresh uphill to get the blood pumping.. which would shortly after reveal NOT an X but a ‘back check’. Those of you who doubted that David was a good guy were within reasonable doubt… He’s a good guy and a viciously tough Hare!!

We then continued on what seemed to be a road run, up and down on the pavement, stupid of us to think that a road run was all it was going to be. After about 30 mins, we ran down the side of a drain and ventured into the forest. We then embarked on an uphill trek that lasted in my estimation close to 45 mins! We passed some interesting things along the way…water formations made by mini waterfalls cascading along limestone rocks, beautiful ferns that were so perfect they looked artificial, a bat cave furnished with stalactites, and of course plenty mud and plenty picker. On one of my downhill slides I encountered a strange furry picker that made my palms look like that of a hairy werewolf (it really itched though – but was relievingly easy to remove in water). We then reached a clearing and saw a magnificent rock formation comparable to a pregnant belly on a giant; water dribbled down the ‘belly’ and almost at the base was channeled through pvc pipes providing an ice cold shower for a dirty dozen hashers (yes, Richard left and later returned for the down downs). After the refreshing splash, we resurrected to the main road and then on the road again. A few moments later we were running along the Diego Martin Highway, soaking wet and screaming On On! Cars passed by honking us as they shouted inaudibles our way. Almost to the end of this two hour ordeal and on the verge of exhaustion, David finally ‘announced’ the On In (which we never got to). The run was fully interactive – under, over, around and through, up, down, up, up, up, and up some more!! and David said there were parts we never got to!! For the most part, we kept a nice tight pack as we all reassembled two hours later @ Marlon’s van for the down downs. Our exiled poofter Richard never downed his beer and did not kneel on request.

Great job David and plenty props to our MVP village hare Brendan for his true hasher spirit (he ran that course 3 times that day!!) On On!!

Mahashma's Meditations

The moving finger writes

My year of Hash Master is coming to a close and while you read this, it will be my last down down as Poignant Hash Master. moment, tears anyone,………….. No, well in that case I will just carry on.

The Hash Christmas run will be from Stumblin Bar, Ariapita Avenue at 3:30 p.m. It will be a live run so come with your Santa Hats etc. etc. If you are drinking there will be a cover charge of $40.00 for the kitty.

Afterwards all those with Christmas Tickets will proceed to 181 Windsor Road GoodWood Park for the all inclusive party, and the handing over ceremony to the new Hash Master. Tickets can be purchased from Taz or myself and regular hashers will get preference.

Purchase your tickets soon because they are limited in number.

I strongly suggest car pooling as parking is tight. Cars will park along Morne Coco Road and the lower part of Windsor Drive. Security will be provided.

The Poofter Award went to a traitor and a Guyana Government spy Audrey. I have long been suspicious of her trips to Guyana and I even went on one just to keep an eye on her but she lost me in Georgetown. Her true colours came out when she routed for the only Guyanese on the Hash and she secretly supported the Guyana football team that eliminated T&T in the world cup qualifier. No spy is safe on the Hash, I have my eye on you too Uncle Ray.

Well On On see you all at the Christmas Party.

The moving finger having writ stops.

Hash Lingo

Virgins take note of the meaning of these signs!!!

While on the trail CALL “ON ON” when you see bits of shredded paper/flour! It helps those behind/possibly lost hashers.
“O” – check for the correct trail!
“X” – you’re on the wrong trail! Go back to the check point and start again.
“ON PASS” – to pass someone on the trail.
“ON BACK” – on the wrong trail, you may have reached an “X“….turn back to the check point “O“.
“On OFF” – you’re off the correct trail.
When you are almost in you would see: “ON IN” pointing to the correct direction.
For those who can’t keep up with the ‘3F’s’ (FIT, FAST AND FURIOUS) pack then just go with the ‘3S’s’ (SMART, SLOW AND SAFE) Pack who just let them do all the work.

DIRECTIONS TO THE NEXT RUN #796

Date: December 10, 2011
Time: 3:30 p.m
Hares: Angels & Earthlings
RunSite: Stumblin’ Bar, Ariapita Ave., Woodbrook
Directions: From East, West, North or South stumble over to Ariapita Ave., Woodbrook. Stumbling after the run & down downs to the Hash Christmas Party at Seebalack’s Residence, 181 Windsor Road, Goodwood Park.

If yuh have a ticket then join us for d fun and festivities at the Christmas Party. Yuh better look out Santa may just give you a surprise! Co$t of Tickets (limited): $180.00.

2011 RECEDING HARELINE

2012 RECEDING HARELINE

Trash Run 791 & 792

Hash Trash Run 791 & 792

MIS-MANAGEMENT COMMITTEE
HASH MASTER	Arthur Seebalack	461-5665	arturo999@live.com
HASH ASS	Mumtaz Amarali	625-3617 x29436	mumtaz98@hotmail.com
ON-SEC/ HARELINE	Salma Khan	753-8843	salmakhan_10@hotmail.com
HASH C$SH	Lorin Paton	622-5806 (O)
HASH BOOZE	Nevie Boos	637-3033 (H)
HASH SOFTIES	Richard Marlay	351-3694
COMMITTEE	Betty Agostini, Ronald Mc Donald, Diane Henderson, Asha Saith
Website Address: http://poshhh.org

RUN DETAILS
RUN#	DATE	HARES	SITE	SCRIBE
791	Oct 28, 2011	Bimbos	Goldsborough, Tobago	The Organ

I am the Organ. I have a mind of my own inside of a thick long body and I rule my Master’s brain. On the Hash runs I caused his mind to wonder and lust after all the female forms, causing him to stumble and fall at times. I am sorry I caused him to fall on glass.

You might recognize my Master if you try, he has bulging eyes (caused by me) and disoriented in appearance.
My Master was told to write a trash about the Bimbos’ run but because I sometimes give him little sleep he is having difficulty remembering anything about the run. Hello Master you can write now!

The Master
Oh yes, um, where were my thoughts, oh yes the run.
There was some controversy about this run and it started with some conflicts between the Big Dicks and the Bimbos. The Big Dicks said they are setting the run, no replied the Bimbos we are, we booked it first with Mahashma. So done the Big Dicks with their miniscule brains decided to boycott the runs and pull out. The Bimbos set better runs anyway.

When setting a run in Tobago, who better to get advice from than Mark Puddy, who has lived in Tobago for many years. So along with Puddy the Bimbos found some beautiful countryside to run in. The run was well set and a lot of work must have been done to set it so well. I understand many wreckies were done to make sure it was good enough for our foreign guests from Suriname and Barbados.

It rained a little but that made no difference to the beauty of the run. The parking site for the buses was a bit tight and on the ride in I was getting rather concerned for the bus driver and his brand new bus. How the hell is he going to turn around I thought.

The run itself started along a tight trail but it soon opened up so there was plenty of running, a lot of it in some swollen river beds, some hills not so steep, and scattered with a liberal amount of watery cow shit. After the run at the down downs the cow shit added a distinct flavour to the beer for those with new shoes. The whole Seebalack family had new shoes for the occasion it seems.

The down downs were short because the Hash Master wanted the lime moved to Pigeon Point. At Pigeon Point the liming and drinking continued. Everyone was having a great time in and out of the water.

Well done Bimbos! The first day was fantastic. Back to the Organ.

The Organ
It seems to me that the Suriname posse left their young mobile women behind for fear of Trini men like Victor, Peter, Harold , Zam and Enrique. I don’t blame them.

SCRIBE: “Long Time” Hasher
Hash Event: Karaoke Night
DATE: 28th October, 2011

Browsing through the song lists before the Karaoke night, HM Mahashma approached me to scribe the event. An offer I could not refuse… or could I? Well, obviously I didn’t! Lots of Hashers browsing through the lists, who was going to attempt to sing what? Taz buzzing around, taking notes of song requests. What possessed me to put in my request for a song? I will never know!! Told that I was on first after the MC. Tried to talk to MC but he said the order already in the computer, can’t change it!!

So the evening started with a non Karaoke guest appearance by Cyril giving his calypso rendition “ The Greatest Hash of All” to a backing track. Was he miming too? Having heard the song already on the bus that day from the hash, I realized that maybe he was given a recording contract by the bus driver who was playing back in times Calypsoes all the way to and from the hash. Our overseas Hasher guests seemed to enjoy his rendition and sang along and laughed at the right moments.

Next and first in the Karaoke was MC Martin with a rendition of Sparrows “Congo man” An enjoyable rendition where he continued telling his lies! Hey Jude followed sung in such a beautiful manner that had the crowd crying out for more, or were they just screaming in agony! Well my mother told me I had a beautiful voice!!.

So the trend was set for a fun night of singing, sometimes in tune sometimes not, some good, some not!! A mix well appreciated by the audience. Asha sang “Stand by your Man” with Dave standing by bemused and amused! Bajan HM Francine sang a duet with her husband “From this Moment” which could have been their wedding song. HM Mahashma came on and after saying he lost 2 children from his house this year gave a rendition of “Love and Marriage” in a very Frank Sinatra like style. The Bajan contingent attempted a couple of songs, but they either couldn’t read the words, or hear the music, or both, as they were jeered off stage!! MC Martin appealed for calm as missiles started flying! Things settled down quickly with no need for Susan to call the police!! The Prick- ah- posse sang a couple of Machel numbers, Teeza, a hippy rendition of Hotel California, and some girls wanted to have fun. The Bajan bride of Frankenstein sang a great rendition of 4 Non Blondes “What’s going on”. Ashe got up and sang a lovesong for Taz that was so out of tune that I could not recognize the song!! Apparently it didn’t work as he appeared very pained on the hash the next day, saying that she fell asleep!!

The best came close to the end of the night when “the Real Slim Shady” aka Harold’s son, Leeum, stood up. Betty got up with Christine and brought the house down with “I will survive”!!. Singing and dancing on the tables. This was a great fun night, well appreciated by all.

RUN DETAILS
RUN#	DATE	HARES	SITE	SCRIBE
792	Oct 29, 2011	Prick-A-Posse	Englishman’s Bay, Tobago	Long Time Hasher

So the next day dawned and on on to our second run set at Englishman’s Bay by the “Prick- ah- Posse” Buses set off at 9:30 a.m. to head off for the 75min. drive to the run site. Back in times Calypso playing in the bus and a happy, expectant set of Hashers anticipating the upcoming run. It was a long and winding road (Karaoke again?!) and at the top of a hill we saw an “On In” on the roadside. “Nah can’t be “were the exclamations from the bus, as we went down and uphill for the next 2 miles before turning into the runsite at Englishman’s Bay. Seasoned Hashers realized that this was a decoy, as there was no paper or flour, before or after the “On In” sign!!

Well, I doubt a much more idyllic setting could have been found. A beautiful beach and bay confronted us. Only obvious issue, the lack of flat hashing terrain surrounding the run site. But more on that to follow!! We were called to order by HM Mahashma, for the usual pre-hash preamble. Except this was one with a special emphasis on keeping to the trail, and using the guide ropes to help when necessary, watching out for falling rocks. Well these were adequate warnings already about what was to come!!

So, on on up the road out of the beach, past a sign saying “no squatting” with Dookie squatting aside with his pants down beckoning to the ladies. On across the road and up a track past the Englishman’s Bay security post, with Suzuki jeep, windows down and door unlocked (guess the area was safe!!).Up this track we headed past lots of side roads named Misty Ridge or other very lyrical names, and up and up we went. After 15 minutes of climb we came to a check. Hashers checked to the left, right up and down, all false trails. A Hare appeared and directed us all back downhill the way we came. Lots of mutterings followed, Wilko from Suriname accusing the Hares of laying the trail by truck, all of which vehemently denied by the Hares. On down we came to a truck with beers and water, greatly appreciated by Hashers after that climb in the near midday sun. And then it was on right into the bush for the first precipitous climb. The first rope was encountered here also to help us up the slippery slope. Up we slid and after a few minutes reached a summit where we continued on and then down into a beautiful river. We checked and waded upstream, then back and followed the trail downstream. Up out the river and up another precipitous trail with rope to help . Many Hashers at this time were probably thinking of better things to do with rope and Hares!! “Dat is gevaarlijk” cried the Suriname Hashers. “oh Gord this is Shiite” cried the Bajan Hasher!! So eventually back down into the river and more checking and out onto a road. We came across a small waterfall at this stage, and many Hashers called it quits at this stage and headed down the road back to the run site on the beach.
The next trail was found up the road to the left, more climbing and into another river. We ran towards the sea with the sound of waves ahead, and then surprise, surprise up another hill away from the pounding surf. Another precipitous climb awaited! 15 minutes later we arrived on the road and the on-in back to the beach. About 1hr 40 mins of “running” a Hasher with GPS saying only 2 miles of distance. I think that must have been 1 mile up and 1 mile down!! A Challenging run in difficult terrain, very well set by the Hares, Thanks to the “Prick-a-Posse”

After hash activities got underway slowly, with the tired and dazed, nursing their wounds with draft Carib and Stag. Food was delivered by Alan and Michelle. Note was taken of the extra large box of meat Alan was eating. Favoritism for the Poofter !! The world now certainly seemed a better place after a few glasses of Stag, and food eaten!! The Sea beckoned and then the down –downs started. So Poofter award went to Alan for the extra large food box. A Suriname Hasher got her Poofter award for falling and losing all the contents of the bag (Gucci) she was carrying. It was very amusing watching her drink the down-down from the well endowed cup, making sure that her lips did not touch the “spout” of the cup!!

We left the run site at 3:30 p.m. to give us enough time to prepare for the “Monster Hash Halloween Bash”
Back at Johnstons, preparations started for the party. Decorations hung from trees, candles and lights added for atmosphere, venue all set for the upcoming festivities. After dinner (food ran out!! Didn’t get food L) the party was set to start. Hashers went back and changed into their fancy dress costumes.

The party started with a parade of costumes in front the judges. A motley crew of Dracula’s, quasimodas, Morticias, Devils, Zorro’s?, Doctors, police lady with Velvet Handcuffs (very arresting for Numbnuts), Amy Whinehouse, Bride of Frankenstein, Divers, Rastamen , Miss Suriname 1969, John and Lorena Bobbit with very graphic props(on their honeymoon!!) and super heroes.

The top 5 were chosen “The Dark Side of Mahashma, “ “ Morticia”, “Amy Whinehouse”., “The Bride of Frankenstein” and “John and Lorena Bobbit”. Well the crowd decided on “The Bride of Frankenstein” and she expressionlessly accepted her prizes, courtesy Monster energy drinks. So the party now start.

Drinks flowed, and the Bajan Hashers did a dance to Michael Jackson’s Thriller. Birthdays were celebrated with cakes. Arlene, Christine and another. Music was great thanks to Mr. DJ, and everyone having a good time playing their characters. Morticia did not smile for the night, and Mahashma wondered around seeking enlightenment. Michelle came out with some big boobs, to rival Miss Suriname 1969 (pity Betty had to leave before the party, would have been interesting to see how they would have looked on her!!). Alan appeared in a Superhero costume with chest plate and Fingernails, both he and Michelle made a great couple for the night. Harper boy was promoting diplomatic relations with a Suriname Ambassadress, and Dookie actually looked better in costume dressed as a surgeon with facemask obscuring his face!! Some Hashers did not need fancy dress! Randall was dressed for the run he had to set the following morning! Enrique hovered around as a lurch . Taz as nursemaid and Ashe as Baby in Diaper made for another interesting couple!

At 2:00A.M. Mahashma appeared to tell me that he had finally found “enlightenment”. “Women good Man Bad” was his revelation. What more was there to say?!! As the party wound down at 3:00A.M. all I could say was roll on next year!!

Mahashma's Meditations

The moving finger writes:
There really is nothing more I can say about our Tobago weekend. It has been said already by all who attended and I am more than happy by what I have heard.

The spirit of the Hash is such that when things go wrong like on the Thursday night (Richards BBQ) we all pitched and made the best of it, move on and forget. All is forgiven Richard. We will give you another chance to redeem yourself. Even the professional caterers got it wrong twice running out of food on both nights. Well, we set the record for drinks with a total bar bill of over $33,000.00. I never realized Hashers could drink so much.

I am almost enlightened and I will reveal it at the Christmas party when I hand over the reins to Taz.
The Poofter nominations on the second run went to Michelle yet again and was well deserved. Michelle ordered an extra special lunch box for Alan complete with blue steak, sushi and truffles. The box was accidentally discovered by Taz.

It is my belief Michelle has worn the Poofter shirt more times than anyone else.

The moving finger writes,
And having writ stops.

ON ON

Hash Lingo

Virgins take note of the meaning of these signs!!!

While on the trail CALL “ON ON” when you see bits of shredded paper/flour! It helps those behind/possibly lost hashers.
“O” – check for the correct trail!
“X” – you’re on the wrong trail! Go back to the check point and start again.
“ON PASS” – to pass someone on the trail.
“ON BACK” – on the wrong trail, you may have reached an “X“….turn back to the check point “O“.
“On OFF” – you’re off the correct trail.
When you are almost in you would see: “ON IN” pointing to the correct direction.
For those who can’t keep up with the ‘3F’s’ (FIT, FAST AND FURIOUS) pack then just go with the ‘3S’s’ (SMART, SLOW AND SAFE) Pack who just let them do all the work.

DIRECTIONS TO THE NEXT RUN #794

Date: November 26, 2011
Time: 3:00 p.m
Hares: Central Posse/ Ashe/ Blunden/ Dexter
RunSite: Claxton Bay
Directions: From Grand Bazaar intersection, drive SOUTH on Uriah Butler Highway and exit Claxton Bay flyover ,turn right on top and drive for about a minute. Run site is at Annie’s Roti Shop & Bar on your left. Look for HHH signs. Food for sale at Bar. Roti and duck- $30.00.